Edge of the water

Just like a cancer patient told by his doctor that he only has few months to live and enjoy this world; that is how I feel about us.

In exactly two weeks from now, we will be flying to Coron. We are both so excited since we will spend a vacation again somewhere far. But whenever I think that our vacation is getting nearer; your vacation to the US comes nearer too. And then the end of your contract in May 2018.

Earlier while we were having coffee, you said that you plan to visit the south and watch a live collegiate basketball with your dad and brother around October next year. I swear I couldn’t get any more excited for you. However, it breaks my heart too. As usual, I gave you my wide smile and said, “Wow. That is exciting.”

Yet at the back of my mind, I asked “What about me? What are your plans for us? Why am I not included in your future?”. Of course I didn’t ask you those because I didn’t want to pressure you. I know that you yourself is having a hard time deciding. If I’d be put in your situation, I also don’t know how to answer those.

Will you give your all when you are unsure of what will happen in the future?

I wanted to be all out to you. Actually, I think I already am. You are already part of my routine. But that is who I am. When I love, I give my all.

They say in every relationship; there is always someone loving more. For us, I think it is me.

I don’t know what will happen to us. Tell me, what are your plans?


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